Random thoughts...

I couldn't sleep last night. Somehow, my brain was working overtime with images that I shouldn't conjure, yet still I did. It replayed itself on loop automatically, and I did not sleep soundly as a result. Only when day breaks did I sleep and dreamed for a while. Signs that I'm sleeping is when I realize that I'm dreaming. Somehow, I can never remember what I dream about the night before.

I was watching a documentary yesterday afternoon about paranormal activities and how paranormal activities relates with different dimensions spread out in different times. Zzz... I can't explain it as well as the people who were doing the show, but should different dimensions exist, I wonder if ourselves in those different dimensions are similar to ourselves or are they different? And should one of 'us' dies in a different dimension, does it affect our present self? Will it create a ripple effect? I guess I shouldn't worry about this since I have never met any of 'myself' from a different dimension and probably never wanted to. What if they're evil like in the story "The One" with Jet Li in it?

Anyways, I'm trying to suppress what I'm feeling inside me now. The frustrations, the fears, the doubts, and not to mention the disappointment that I was dealt in the last two weeks or so. Everything's all better now both at home and in my private life. I'm trying hard not to think about certain things and focusing on the possibilities that it might hurt me so I will be ready for it when the bombshell drops on me. I guess I've always been expecting things to disappoint me so it won't hurt as bad.

Tried to play my flute after neglecting it for nearly 3 years O.O and found out that I forgot my embouchure. Zzz... Looks like I will have to re-learn it. Hopefully I can pick it up once more and play some tunes on it. I really need to occupy my mind and think less of "the twins". 

I might already have chords in mind for "Comet In My Sky" (^.^)

Caught In the Middle...

Sometimes, I would wish I'm an immortal - no need to have food for sustenance. Thoughts of dying scares me sometimes, especially when you don't know what's life like beyond the living. 

Mom and dad are at it again - it began in the car yesterday on our way home from fetching dad from work. Luckily, both my sister and I have our own distractions. We plugged up and e-voided their arguments in the car by listening to music. I listened to my mp3 player while my sis listened to her own music through her iPod. They both have their own points which needed to be thought over.

They were still talking in loud voices when we reached home, so my sis and I hid in my room trying not to listen. When we could no longer take it, I took the car and spirited us away for awhile to the nearest place where we could have our dinner in peace - The Shopping Mall.That was where we stayed until I feel it was safe enough to go home.

I guess there's just no ending when it comes to this. People say things they don't mean at one point and they don't realize it. There's no taking back words though. It's not like you can undo what you said.

Hiring and Firing...

Who's to say you're fired or hired when all these while your employer hasn't really made the decision? The third party who is not involved in this matter should not prick one's temper by making presumptions about who's going to fill in your place.

It's now been 10months since his license had expired and no letter had arrived informing him that his services had been terminated and would not be renewed. The point is, why is there nothing done to clarify the situation? Why has it taken 10months for him to wait and work without pay? Why come up with the subject in the first place if not to rub it in your face? For all we know, it was the third party who has been putting in "a good word" about him to the employer out of spite just because of personal reasons. It's sick in politics...

Of Fruitcakes and Fruit Loops...

Of fruitcakes and fruit loops... No-not those eatable kind. It's a fairly old expression to denote someone who's not quite sound in mind. What is the point of talking about another person's bad quality within earshot of the poor person. Isn't it the main goal to keep out of earshot when criticizing or gossiping about the other person?

I just don't understand why do they need to point out the person's flaws since they're the ones who's making the most obvious of all flaws. In fact,they're telling the whole world about their flaw for not being able to hold their tongue. The sad fact about this is they almost never talk about the goodness of other people. Even if among the circle of siblings, they talk incessantly - gossiping about others-and always within earshot of their children or those whom they're talking about. Talk about a bad environment for growing children. Isn't that a bad example to show to her own kids? Their kids might grow up thinking "Oh, its all right to talk about others within earshot of that person". And you know what? Ten years down the line the psychological damage has been done-her daughters resemble her characters frightfully. It would be slightly better if they're not so bad as their mother but it seems to me they're a lot worse.

Gossiping alone that's fine, but changing the real facts of the story just to pique the interest of others is SICK. I never want to say something which is personal in front of them lest they change the real version of the story into something scandalous. They can even forget about me inviting them to hang out with other cousins the next time around.

The last time we went out just to have a few round of drinks at a bistro and listening to a live band became a story of how one of us was shouting at the seaside and of me guzzling down beer. First of all, the first drink was vodka and orange. Then I had a glass of coke which she also had. The only person drinking a few rounds of beer was my male cousin that night. FYI, I don't drink beer. It ain't my taste. They can't even get their story right. For once in their miserable little insecure life I would like them to relate the real things that happen instead of manipulating things to degrade others. I know quite a number of things about them but I'd rather not say because the truth is only the real truth when it is confessed by its owner and not others.