I'm Only Human

I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human - I'm only human...

Frustrations

My first impression sucks. I may look like a heartless and snobby bitch to others on the outside, but overall, I'm still just a girl. A girl who has feelings for the world around her when it hits a weak spot. In truth, I'm scared of the world out there. Daddy's girl? Hardly, but he tries to shield his girls as best as he can.

Everyday now, as I went to work sending my dad to his office in the morning, he has been drumming into my head about being a supportive and understanding "wife" to my "future husband". Yesterday morning, he actually talked about his feelings on his sister marrying a younger man half her age. That was really frustrating - I know that the marriage won't last, I've told my aunt before when she was asking for my opinion, but if she doesn't want to take my advice on it, it's her decision to make. Dad mentioned that even if it were his siblings, if they're not acting correctly, he'll voice out what he thinks to "check and balance" his family. Then he moved directly to the dreaded topic - M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E. I was already on automatic snooze when he said the word "marry", but it hits a sensitive topic when he mentioned "Don't marry a younger man, just to score points." I'm like !!!!!!

Where did he get the notion that I'll marry a younger guy? FYI dad - I'm not dating anyone, nor have I ever been out with anyone before because of You and Mom! I respect the rules you implemented on me for the past 15 years where You said "No dating with boys when you're in school while you're under my roof." Guess what - You win! I'm on the losing end - both socially, and mentally. I can't win if You start comparing me with my cousins like you always do since I'm young. Why me? Why did you have to compare me with them? Why not the youngest? Why not your boy? And why is it only NOW that You're talking to me? For the past 3 years, I can't even talk to You without having to mention Your Boy's name in the conversation for You to answer me back with actual interest to the conversation. That's when I said FORGET IT. I actually gave up on SPEAKING to You ever since.

Now that You're speaking to me, I don't think I want to listen. I can't take back what I lost in life - TIME. Tell me if losing your youth is not worth crying over.